"I’m not merciful or blessed. I’m just me. I’ve got a job to do and I do it….When the first living thing existed, I was there. Waiting. When the last living thing dies, my job will be finished. I’ll put the chairs on the tables, turn out the lights and lock the universe behind me when I leave."
Welcome to the penultimate 365 day photo. I love the word penultimate.
This picture is very special to me. About two minutes into starting this project I knew exactly how I wanted to end it. I knew this was the shot. I knew it was the perfect way to close out a year of photos. Assuming I was capable of making it that far. This was how I wanted to say goodbye to a year. About five minutes in, I came up with a better idea for ending the year which is what i will be doing tomorrow, but I really wanted to do this shot, and so I saved it for the next to last day.
You ever leave an old apartment for the last time. You’re moving out. You’re moving on. But before you do, you just have to take one last look at that empty room. One last glance around to see if there’s anything you forgot and just to remember before you step off into the unknown. Then you turn around and lock the door behind you. That’s kind of how I feel about this year.
If you’ve been reading these entries, then you can probably see that even though I tend to spread a lot of humor into it, I’ve been trying to be as honest about my feelings and thoughts and my life as possible. Something that really isn’t easy for me all the time. If you pay attention you can probably tell the days that I’m up and the days that I’m down. You know that it hasn’t been the best year for me, In the past twelve months, I’ve basically only worked four and a half of them. And yet in many ways its been the happiest and most productive year of my life.
This project has not only helped me become a better photographer but it has renewed my interest in seriously becoming an artist and writer. Something that I had long since thought dead in me. Over the years, I’ve been increasingly distracted by "the real world." and I’ve let my career replace my passion. Basically, even though I still claimed to want to be an artist and i dabbled. Every day I was more and more distracted by life and I kind of felt it slipping away from me. Today, because of this project and because of the people who follow it, I honestly feel as though I have that back. I may never make another dime as an artist. Hell, I may never make another dime period. But, if I die tomorrow, at least I’ll have this year and it was a year that at least on a personal level allowed me to accomplish a dream I’d had since I was seven years old. I might not be Michaelangelo. I’m not even Michael Moore. But if nothing else, I created something that directly affected the lives of at least 4903 other people on some level or another, and I swear that I will never ever forget that. So many thank me all the time for creating 365 days (though honestly, I really didn’t) and changing their lives. I want to thank all of them for making it a success and changing mine.
So yeah, it was the best year of my life. It was the worst year of my life. I don’t know what’s on the other side of that door. But I am looking forward to finding out.
Of course with my luck it’s a lion waiting to devour me. But hey. we all gotta go someway.
"We’ll leave the light on for ya."