Guess what… It’s telemarketer theater time ya’ll!!! Caller: Hello is Chris there?Mav: Sure!Caller: Hello, this is David with XXXXX insurance.Mav: Hi, David! So nice to talk to you. How are you, what can I do for you?Caller: Wow… umm… I’m fine, thank you for asking. Ummm… sir, I’m calling on behalf of XXXXX insurance and…
Category: Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater
by mav • • 20 Comments
Guess what happened today? That’s right, it’s Telemarketer Theater time, ya’ll! INT. PITTSBURGH HOME – DAYOur hero, MAV, is watching Jeopardy with his wife Stephanie when the phone rings. Mav gives a devilish smile as he looks at the phone. Steph recognizes the smile and pauses the TV. Mav answers the phone. Mav: Hello?Caller: Hello,…
Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater
by mav • • 0 Comments
Telemarketer Theater is getting harder and harder to do. [INT. PITTSBURGH HOME – DAY] Our hero, MAV, is doing some work on his laptop as his phone rings. He’s been discouraged by these last few calls. But maybe something will happen with this one. Mav answers the phone and hear the call center on the…
Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater: Emotional Pain
by mav • • 0 Comments
People often ask me how come I don’t post telemarketer theater plays that much anymore. It’s not that I don’t want to. I haven’t gotten bored with doing them or anything like that. The problem is that I just haven’t gotten any in a long time. At least not from a live person that I…
Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater: Push Polling Edition
by mav • • 0 Comments
You know what’s sad? Push-pollers. Push pollers just don’t have the right kind of sticktoitness to be really effective. They need to take lessons from the phone scammers who normally call me. They have to work harder and really dig in there and try to convince me. Because this just went poorly. INT. PITTSBURGH HOME…
Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater: Political Edition
by mav • • 13 Comments
So I was sitting down and working on my thoughts on the current craziness going on in politics today for a possible blog post when the phone rang. CallerID said it was a number from “Wisconsin.” Since I had some important things I wanted to get to I was going to try to get rid of…
Telemarketer Theater
Scam School
by mav • • 11 Comments
I get email spam, just like everybody. The saddest thing about email spam is that unlike the phishing phone calls I get, there’s no good way to really run a telemarketer theater prank, so I can’t even generate good website content. They’re basically useless. I got one in my Duquesne email account today that caught…
Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater: Right to the point
by mav • • 39 Comments
I need some new scenarios to run phone scammers through for telemarketer theater. What makes them really good is when I can keep them on the phone for a long time. The last couple I’ve tried getting directly to the point with just to see what happens. Here’s the most recent one. CALLER: Hello, this…
Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater: I’m hacking you…
by mav • • 17 Comments
I’ve been wondering if the Telemarketing Scammers have been on to me. I haven’t gotten as many calls lately. And when I have they’ve been pretty quick to hang up on me. Here’s the one that happened today. INT. PITTBSBURGH HOME – DAY STEPH is watching TV and eating breakfast as the phone rings. MAV happens…
Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater: The Radio Sting
by mav • • 13 Comments
I know it’s cliche, but I write a lot of things in the shower. Somehow, it’s just a good place to get a lot of ideas sorted out. I don’t necessarily know what I am going to be writing in the shower, but I do have a lot of ideas there. Today, I was planning…
Religion, Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater: Born Again Edition (and Again)
by mav • • 14 Comments
I was working on my computer when I heard line ring in the other room. I yelled for Steph to pick it up, since usually the landline is her mother calling. But Steph looked at the CallerID and said “yeah, I’m not getting that.” I ran in to double check. The Call is from 1-800-000-0000…
Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater Epilogue: Why I love my wife
by mav • • 29 Comments
3-23-07 (Photo credit: chrismaverick) This is kind of an epilogue to my most recent Telemarketer Theater. So if you haven’t read that yet, you probably should. in any case, SPOILERS and stuff. This is like after the film and after the credits, only instead of Nick Fury coming and asking…
Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater: Phone Sex Edition
by mav • • 41 Comments
Oh Hell Yeah it is!!! That’s right. At long last, It’s the one you’ve been waiting for. The Phone Sex Edition of Telemarketer Theater! Our hero, MAV is sitting in his office reading literary journals, because that’s just the kind of wild man he is. The phone rings in the other room. Mav goes to answer…
Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater: the SEA TURTLE key
by mav • • 18 Comments
It’s been weeks since I got to write a telemarketer theater. I was starting to worry that they didn’t love me anymore! And I’m sure you’ve all been missing them. Well the wait it over! FADE IN: MAV is at home on his computer and there’s a call on the landline. The Caller ID is from…
Imported From Facebook, Telemarketer Theater
Telemarketer Theater: Verizon FiOS
by mav • • 3 Comments
11-21-06 (Photo credit: chrismaverick) Now see I love that REAL customer service people are so much more reasonable than the fake scammers I usually deal with. I just got a call from Verizon: Verizon Salesman: Hi, this is John with Verizon FiOS. Is Christopher Maverick available? Mav: What’s this regarding? VS:…