I need some new scenarios to run phone scammers through for telemarketer theater. What makes them really good is when I can keep them on the phone for a long time. The last couple I’ve tried getting directly to the point with just to see what happens. Here’s the most recent one.
CALLER: Hello, this is John. I am calling on behalf the Windows IT department and I am here to warn you that we are detecting that your computer is voluntarily sending faulty information out to the centralized server.
MAV: Oh no, that sounds bad.
CALLER: It is ok sir, I am here to help you. Is your computer one right now?
MAV: Yes it is.
CALLER: Ok, I want you to look at the bottom left corner of your keyboard. Do you see the control key?
CALLER: OK, next to the control key, do you see a Windows key or a Function key?
MAV: Ummm… Windows.
CALLER: Ok, sir. I’m going to need you to hold down that key and press the letter R.
MAV: OK. Done.
CALLER: Ok, what do you see now?
MAV: I see a giant cock.
CALLER: Oh really? And do you see your mother’s pussy too? *CLICK*
Seriously… that guy just wasn’t having it at all. And so rude…. I mean, I did exactly what he said, and then looked at the screen where my background is just a big picture of Fog Horn Leghorn. Isn’t everyones?
I think I need some longer ones. I’ve been trying to work out one where I try to convince them that they’ve reached someone who has been kidnapped and is a prisoner in a basement. I’ve also considered answering all of their questions with “I am Groot.” Any other suggestions?