ChrisMaverick dotcom

Telemarketer Theater: Push Polling Edition

11-21-06You know what’s sad? Push-pollers. Push pollers just don’t have the right kind of sticktoitness to be really effective. They need to take lessons from the phone scammers who normally call me. They have to work harder and really dig in there and try to convince me. Because this just went poorly.


Our hero, MAV is taking a break from grading to watch some TV with his wife. The phone rings and he answers it.

CALLER: Hello, my name is Cindy and I represent the Right-To-Life Advocacy group. Do you have a moment for a quick poll about your political opinions for the upcoming election?

MAV: Sure. Of course.

CALLER: Wonderful. First of all do you consider yourself pro-life or pro-choice.

MAV: I’m pro-abortion.

CALLER: Umm… I’m not sure… uh… Are you pro-life or pro-choice?

MAV: Pro-abortion.

CALLER: Uh… do you believe in the sacred right to life of any child or do you believe that abortion should be allowed only in the most extreme circumstances when the life of the mother might be in danger?

MAV: Neither. I believe that all people should have as many abortions as possible.

CALLER: Uh…. thank you for your time. (CLICK)

Seriously…. I mean, she barely even tried…I had like  a whole thing planned where I was going to start advocating the rights of parents to kill their children well into their teenaged years.


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