ChrisMaverick dotcom

Telemarketer Theater: Right to the point

836a186c48ce26622732a5f392c92547I need some new scenarios to run phone scammers through for telemarketer theater. What makes them really good is when I can keep them on the phone for a long time. The last couple I’ve tried getting directly to the point with just to see what happens. Here’s the most recent one.

CALLER: Hello, this is John. I am calling on behalf the Windows IT department and I am here to warn you that we are detecting that your computer is voluntarily sending faulty information out to the centralized server.

MAV: Oh no, that sounds bad.

CALLER: It is ok sir, I am here to help you. Is your computer one right now?

MAV: Yes it is.

CALLER: Ok, I want you to look at the bottom left corner of your keyboard. Do you see the control key?

MAV: Yes.

CALLER: OK, next to the control key, do you see a Windows key or a Function key?

MAV: Ummm… Windows.

CALLER: Ok, sir. I’m going to need you to hold down that key and press the letter R.

MAV: OK. Done.

CALLER: Ok, what do you see now?

MAV: I see a giant cock.

CALLER: Oh really? And do you see your mother’s pussy too? *CLICK*

Seriously…  that guy just wasn’t having it at all. And so rude…. I mean, I did exactly what he said, and then looked at the screen where my background is just a big picture of Fog Horn Leghorn. Isn’t everyones?

I think I need some longer ones. I’ve been trying to work out one where I try to convince them that they’ve reached someone who has been kidnapped and is a prisoner in a basement. I’ve also considered answering all of their questions with “I am Groot.” Any other suggestions?

39 comments for “Telemarketer Theater: Right to the point

  1. avatar
    Parker
    May 21, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    How about replacing key words in classic Star Wars quotes with various tech buzzwords?

  2. avatar
    May 21, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    Parker commented on ChrisMaverick dotcom:

    How about replacing key words in classic Star Wars quotes with various tech buzzwords?

Leave a Reply