So there’s this commercial on TV for Oscar Meyer. It takes place in some kind of mega mart, like a walmart or a costco or something. While the woman is shopping her kids are screwing around in the store. Her son is on one of those backyard trampolines they had on display and he’s like “mom can I do a back flip?” and she says no. Ok, fine.
But then, at the bottom of the screen they had a warning “do not attempt. always wear a helmet when using a trampoline”
WHO THE FUCK USES A HELMET ON A TRAMPOLINE?
I’m not saying that a trampoline isn’t dangerous. That you can’t break your neck on one. Sure you can. And maybe doing backflips isn’t exactly safe. Fine. But when I was a kid, personal safety was not my number one concern. Me and my friends used to do all kinds of stupid shit. And sometimes we got hurt. In some respect, that’s how you learn not to do stupid things. What I am saying though is:
WHO THE FUCK USES A HELMET ON A TRAMPOLINE?
In the old days, the really dumb kids, if they survived to adulthood, would at least have the chance to toughen up by building a nice set of callouses on the top of their head. Now we’re interrupting Darwinism. I swear, we’re raising a whole generation of dumbass, soft-skulled kids.
Helmet on a trampoline, indeed…