Remember when I used to post daily wistful career change decisions? I quit because I actually made a REAL career change decision and went to grad school. It’s been going ok, but you know, there’s that part of me that will always be wistful, There’s that part of me that of me that will never be satisfied. There’s that part of me that will always want something more. I’ve dreamed of being a Sith Lord, a late night talk show host, and the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor at Hogwarts. I’ve considered being a Green Beret, a riverboat gambler and porno pizza delivery boy. I’ve wanted to be a drifter, a stage coach robber, an ice road trucker, and the lyrical Jesse James. In my heart, I have wined and dined with kings and queens and slept in an alley eating pork and beans.
I haven’t been listening to that voice in a long time…
But today something happened. Today I saw a video on youtube. Today, I saw something that made me long to be something more than I am. Something that inspired me to be all that I can be. Something that made me want to be the kind of person that makes the world a better place for my fellow human beings.
So, with that, for the first time in a long time, I announce Today’s Wistful Career Change Decision: Hero of the Beach!
I will give up on grad school. I will give up on being a photographer, a designer, a comic book artist, a writer and an internet superstar… Instead I will gamble a stamp and send away for Charles Atlas’s book, on the Dynamic Tension System. Not because I want to be a professional wrestler or hone my body into a living weapon so that I wear a bat suit and underwear outside my clothes and strike fear into the hearts of street thugs.
No, I want to go after a different cowardly a superstitious lot. I am going to devote my life to defending countless bikini clad women and their scrawny nerd boyfriends from the muscleheads who terrorize the beaches and kick sand in their faces.
Who’s with me? I encourage anyone who’s reading this to do the same. If you watch what I watch, you’ll be inspired to. Yes, I may be a little older than I used to be but I now know that you’re never too old to be a hero of the beach.
Why? Well, watch the video…
Because here’s a little something I owe ya’!
Attention: H. Jameel Al Khafiz