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George R. R. Martin Won’t Kill Your Kid…

game-thrones-season-4-mockingbird-clipsWhat kind of a heartless bastard refuses to kill a 13 year old kid? Uh…  wait….

From Uproxx.com

Alas, I cannot promise you a grisly death in THE WIND OF WINTER. Those spots have already been filled by some very generous donors, and there’s a limit to how many people even I can kill.

However, inspired by your example, my friends at Prizeo and I would love to follow your lead with a $10,000 in your name to the UK Wolf Conservation Trust. That’s a wonderful organization that I’ve heard much about, and they are lucky to count people like you as supporters.

I mean, it’s his book and all, but I’m pretty sure Martin always has room to kill one more person…

I for one would be happy to kill young Jack! That’s just the kind of guy I am! Hmmm, maybe I shouldn’t say that.


16 comments for “George R. R. Martin Won’t Kill Your Kid…

  1. July 23, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    The kid couldn’t pay, so he can’t kill him. You have to consider the implications. If he kills this kid for free, then he has to kill EVERY 13 year old with a death wish and the time to write a letter.

  2. July 23, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    I’d kill him by just refusing to give him a desk and making him stand

  3. July 23, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    (and in the category of obscure jokes meant for 3 people on the planet…)

  4. July 23, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    No one ever died from lack of a desk. Except maybe that dude in Titanic.

  5. July 23, 2014 at 8:21 pm

    You can’t prove that Kayleigh is still alive!

  6. July 23, 2014 at 8:22 pm

    I bet I can! But first, I hope the internet explodes with ASOIAF fanfic killing off hundreds of 13 year olds named Jack.

  7. July 23, 2014 at 8:23 pm

    I’m pretty sure that if Martin released a whole book where that was one long sentence sentence that began “And then Arya Jack and Max and Mav and …” and was 900 pages long, it would still be a best seller.

  8. July 23, 2014 at 8:25 pm

    If he kills Arya there’s gonna be trouble.

  9. July 23, 2014 at 8:26 pm

    oops… that was a typo… that was supposed to say:

    “And then Arya killed Jack and Max and Mav and …”

  10. July 23, 2014 at 8:26 pm

    oh…I’d totally buy that book…in fact that’s what i’m expecting and hoping for for book 7

  11. July 23, 2014 at 8:28 pm

    And anyone who replies, “He already killed Arya in book 5” is getting unfriended, whether it’s true or not.

  12. July 23, 2014 at 8:32 pm

    So like if I buy a baby book, rip out the first page and replace it with “and then Arya killed” and then make a new cover for it with a title “A Song of Arya and Ice” can I charge you like $50 for it?

  13. July 23, 2014 at 8:43 pm

    no, I can do that myself for free

  14. July 23, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    Yeah. But uh… Mine is totally official!!! Yeah, that’s the ticket!

  15. July 23, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    if you build me a 50-page picture book of photoshop jobs of Maisie Williams murdering people who richly deserve it, I’ll buy that

  16. July 23, 2014 at 8:50 pm

    but none of this iPhoto crap, I want pictures pasted in and decorated with giltter and stuff

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