Day 602 of 365 More.
So, I had a great idea for a self-portrait today. I had everything set up in my studio to do a great shot of me having a an orgy with seven hot lesbians covered in choclate syrup. It was going to be very tasteful of course, but still undeniably erotic. We were going to be laying on a bed of exotic flowers and a litter of the cutest kittens ever were going to be rolling around with us and licking off the chocolate syrup under an artificially constructed waterfall, superimposed onto a mountain backdrop. The whole thing was going to be shot with 312,000 watts of studio lights hot lights because everyone knows how much I hate strobes. Luckily, the four Hollywood caliber wind machines I rented would have kept us relatively cool. Just for the occasion, I had borrowed a Canon 1200mm/5.6L USM lens with a 2x EF Extender fit with a custom +10 macro filter. I had my camera set up in an office building two counties over from here and aimed straight at the studio window. I was gonna shoot at ƒ32 on on a 120 second exposure to get a really dreamy look, and I was going to shoot the whole thing through the viewfinder of a vintage 19th century studio camera for a neat TTV effect, but I was also going to take eight additional exposures , moving 2 stops in and halving the shutter speed after each one and then combining all nine exposures into an HDR, which I would have to process on a 8 core Mac Pro tower with 64 gigs of ram. It was going to be vainglorious! It was going to be the most exploriffic shot in all of flickr history. I had been excited about it all day. I was going to call it The Aristocrats!
But I had totally forgotten that the season premiere of Galactica is coming on tonight, and that’s easily the most important thing that has happened so far this year. So I cancelled the whole shoot.
I’d reschedule the whole thing for next week, but unfortunately, I had to give the lens back and the lesbians are on a flight back to Sweden already. Sorry about that.
I’ll gladly do it in the future at some point if someone wants to lend me some horny lesbians, a bunch of kittens and another $100,000 lens.
What, no unicorn?
heh.
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@Ein Schuß: unicorns don’t make explore, do they?
Too bad – but Gallactica calls…….both of my sons are watching it (and have let it be known not to disturb….!)
You’re on your own for the lens, but I would be MORE than happy to send you 5 cute kittens for the photo shoot – they will be 3 weeks old tomorrow…….the catch is that you can’t send them back……
I have connections and can get you the lesbians, but not until you promise to take the kittens………and you have to send some of the chocolate down to me……OK, never mind the chocolate – just take the #&*& kittens and I’ll send the girls’ phone numbers….
LOL!!
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Seen in my contacts’ photos. (?)
Maybe if they were lesbian unicorns?
brilliant!
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Seen in my recent comments. (?)
@Babs1696: I had to wait. Steph was watching something else. Thank God for DVR.
@Sick Little Monkey: ooh! That’d be awesome.
@Ein Schuß: Yeah, thank you both for opening my eyes.
Lesbians make unicorns get into explore? Man. I’ve been doing this gay thing all wrong…
@[AJ]: well, maybe it’s not too late. A couple operations and some brainwashing and you’re unicorn bait walking.
Jeeze Louise! No wonder I get migraines!!! sigh…
ps. If you take those damned kittens from my friend Babs, I’m NEVER coming to visit again. I can deal with my 2 grandcats, but good gracious! 5 more? I don’t think so!
Sorry Babs, I’ll help you find another home for them! 😉
edit: Oh wait, we can send the kittens to the lesbians!
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Seen in my contacts’ photos. (?)
Awwww gee…..I thought I had it all figured out…..I guess Mav will just have to go with the lesbian unicorn theme….
You’re giving your mother migraines, now!
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Seen in my contacts’ photos. (?)
@lrayholly and @Babs1696: darn… this close…
We had tickets for Cirque du Soleil’s show, Saltimbanco tonight. My wife called an hour before the show, not sure if she could trust the DVR to record Galactica for her. She was considering bowing out from the show to stay home for it.
At least you have your priorities in order. Obviously BSG trumps a herd of horny lesbian unicorns any day. um… wait, that can’t be right… *grin*
Dude, I had the same idea only I had llamas and lesbians.
Dammit.
Lesbians and chocolate syrup.
Dammit!
Great story…. would have loved to have seen the shots …but such is life.
Tasteful, ehhh? hmmmm.
@Jim Lamb aka Travelinjim: well, I hope you both enjoyed it.
@mickeysacks: well, one would hope there would be other opportunities.
@Mikey aka DaSkinnyBlackMan: well, we do have similar styles.
@like_shipwrecks: maybe next time… I mean, if you want to bring some by for a shoot…
@DeHoll: oh, definitely… I think most of my more erotic photography is extremly tasteful.