Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Space cowboy, gangster of love, maurice. Umm, what the fuck is a pompatus?

Today’s Wistful Career Change Decision: Male lingerie store owner. Victor’s Secret. Because, you know, sometimes a guy needs to feel pretty.

Today’s Wistful Career Change Decision: Bridge Troll. There are 446 bridges in this town, and a severe lack of trolls. Need to get on that.

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Pimp. The thing is, anything goes when it comes to the hoes, but still, pippin’ ain’t easy!!!

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Snake Oil Salesman. I gotta figure there’s someone out there who needs to oil a snake.

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: NinjaWarrior. I must conquer the demons of Mt. Midoriyama. (Or fall on my head in the mud on jump 1)

Today’s Wistful Career Change Decision: The Lorax. The real Lorax. Not the shitty CGI guy who’s selling cars on TV theses days. UNLESS…

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Hotstepper! Lyrical Gangsta! Excuse me Mr. Officer! Still love you like that. Murderer!

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Leap Day William would be too easy. So instead I’ll say Santa Claus. Tough gig in Dec but pie in Feb

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Red Carpet critic. Just realized that you can make a whole job out of being a hater. I’m in!

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Spunky teen-sidekick to @djdnice. WIth his permission, I’d like to be known as the TR-909.

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: UXDesigner for @mrskin. Same thing I do for a living now but with boobs. Boobs make everything better

Todays Wistful Career Change: Chinese NBA Superstar. It’s Mavsanity! (yes, I’m totally chinese, as long time readers know)

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: St. Pauli Boy. Why does it always have to be a girl, anyway? Get me my Lederhosen!

Today’s Wistful Career Change Decision: Test Subject in a sleep study… yawwwnn… ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ