ChrisMaverick dotcom

On the trailer for Cats…

I just watched the trailer for Cats.

I have some thoughts… but first some caveats:

  1. When I was a little kid, I actually loved this musical. I don’t know why… but Rum Tum Tugger was just one of my favorite songs.
  2. I have this movie as one of my picks in the VoxPopcast Box Office Fantasy game. It’s not that I expected it to be good… in fact, I was pretty sure it would suck when I picked it… but I also believe that if Taylor Swift said she was making an art film that was literally 2 hours of her sitting on the toilet, her fans would flock to it in droves… so my thought was “even if it’s a trainwreck, it will make money”

That said… WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?!?!?

About ten seconds in I had an actual involuntary physical reaction of “Ewwyyeeewww!!!” and shuddered….

It’s as though someone watched my PCA presentation on the part of my dissertation where I talk about the interaction of the uncanny valley and sexiness and said “Oh, you think there can’t be sexy in the uncanny valley! We’ll show you! We’re going as deep in as we can just to prove it can still be HAWWWT!” and then they got this and were like “oh… oh no… we’ve made a big mistake….”

I’m certain this happened. I’m certain this was some producer trying to teach me a lesson.

I know that sounds egotistical. And I’m sorry…. it’s just there are only two possibilities here… either this was a direct attack on me… OR some living, breathing, human being, with actual money, thought this was a good idea… and that second alternative is just…. so much worse… Occam’s Razor says that this can only exist because for some reason Taylor Swift wants to hurt me…


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