Long time readers will know that Stephanie and I have complained multiple times about my next neighbors and their refusal to mow their lawn. I now present to you another little play:
MAV finishes mowing the lawn and is sitting on his front steps enjoying a well deserved beer. Next door, a THREE-YEAR-OLD boy is playing ball with his two year old sister. He yells over to Mav.
3YO: Excuse me!
Mav: Yes?
3YO: Are you mowing your lawn, mister?
Mav: Yes I was. I just finished.
3YO: Can you mow are?
Mav: Uh, no… sorry.
3YO (dejected): Oh…
Fin.
He may now be my favorite neighbor.
your right to swing your lawnmower blade ends at the property line. don’t force your aesthetic upon them, perhaps they like the meadow look. If you don’t like looking at it, line the border of your property with something you like to look at. If you’d like some forsythia or Hibiscus syriacus, i’d be happy to give you some.
Meadow?!?!? Try tropics… It’s pretty “low” now, because it’s still crushed down from the winter snow, but last year they were well over the 3ft mark on the grass with one weed that was at least 7ft.
Weed/plant… who’s call is it to make.
It’d ruin your mower!
Mine. It is my call!!!
to be fair, we’ve since built a fence. That helps, because I mostly can’t see it… though the weed does get taller than the fence.
I think from now on you need to wear blue underwear on your head, and plaid speedos… exclusively. since we’re making arbitrary aesthetic decisions.
uh… why?
if you can tell someone how they can enjoy their lawn, then we may as well tell people who they can marry/sleep with, what they can wear, what car to drive, etc.
The pursuit of your happiness does not trump their pursuit of happiness. Just something to think about.
I feel sorry for those children. I don’t even want to think of what dangerous objects they could stumble upon and not see until it’s too late.
Philip: Ah, I see you’re confusion there. You’re not distinguishing between *I* and me *We*
*I* should be supreme lord emperor of the universe. *I* should be able to tell people anything. Including who you can marry/sleep with, what car to drive or when to mow your lawn. Everyone else, not so much. You just have to trust in my benevolence and everything is fine. The system works.
Kerri: Oh, there’s any number of potential health hazards. We’ve complained many times.
I was about to post something similar, Maverick, but you beat me to it. lol
I disagree, Philip. If someone doesn’t want to mow/do yardwork, then get an apartment. There is also a bit of a health/safety issue with lawns that get unruly, rodents, allergens, poison ivy… They don’t have to keep it immaculate, but cutting the grass is pretty basic shit.
Sadly it seems that the city isn’t going to do anything about it until one of those babies gets hurt. As a parent, I don’t know how in the hell this does not worry them.
Are there any ordinances about lawns in your area? If we don’t mow our lawn in a prompt fashion, the lawn police come by and leave a friendly note on our door. If we don’t mow our lawn after the friendly note, they will come mow it for us and bill us $250 (so they say – we’ve never tested this). We’ve had a few friendly notes when it’s been really rainy and the grass grows like crazy – but the lawn police probably see our house more regularly since we live on the same street as the Village Hall.
You better stop posting these they a gold
It’s a bit of a health/safety hazard when people ascribe to monoculture lawns. insect diversity is curtailed, and you become susceptible to an epidemic wiping out all greenery.
we aren’t talking about monoculture lawns, we are talking about mowing whatever is there.
Philip: Legal considerations notwithstanding, the neighbors’ right to enjoy their lawn does not include the right to allow pollen from those plants to spread beyond their property. The instant the pollen spreads to Mav’s lawn, they have forfeited any moral claim to that right.
You can absolutely get ticketed by the lawn police here. I do think they only come by when someone complains.
Kerri, Jennifer, Charlotte: We complain to the city a couple times a summer. I believe what happens when they do is some lawn police type person comes out and “inspects” it and then sends mail to the home owner. (One time last year they came out and inspected and sent mail TO US. And we were like “that’s not our lawn, dammit!. Hopefully the new fence will make the property lines more obvious). Anyway, the people next door don’t own the home. They rent it, and as far as I can tell, by the general condition the owner guy is pretty much a slum lord. So we complained I think, I three times? I dunno that they ever got fined or anything, but eventually the renters “took care of it” which is to say, some relative came over with a weed whacker and “cleared” their front and maybe the first 1/3 of the back (just enough for their kids to have somewhere to play) and left what’s beyond it. What’s beyond has been growing untouched for at least 2 years.
Jeff: Exactly, spores from their giant weed definitely float into our yard and we have to keep killing them
It’s a neighborhood, though, and actions matter. By not mowing the lawn, it also means they’re not likely keeping up any other maintenance on the property. This all affects property values, making Chris’ house worth less.
Sean: Why should I stop? Isn’t amusement what Facebook is for?
Adam: Oh there are any number of things about them that lowers the property values. We’re really kinda pissy about that.
Kerri, I used to summer at my aunt’s in rural Kentucky, and at an aunt’s house up near a lake in michigan. Tromping around streams, fields, swamps, giant sand dunes, woods, and who knows what not… i think it’s made me a better person for learning to be aware of my environment..
Chris (and Jeff): not allowing a plant to reach it’s natural state/flowering height is also harmful to insects, etc.
How about that noise pollution from the lawnmower? you can choose to not look at a yard, but it’s very difficult to not listen to a mower. (light is easier to attenuate than is sound) . Pollen: If you want to go the not leaving your property route– then i can tell you that you are not allowed to cook/grill because odors/smoke/etc will leave your house. Say i’m sensitive to the chemicals that you use to weed/feed your lawn… where does the line get drawn?
Philip, I live in the country and have done/do the same. That said, I highly doubt your parents let you go unattended at age two or three. Country or not, the grass around our house stays mowed. Also… a city is a bit different… in the country, you generally don’t run the risk of broken glass, shards of metal, etc.
Philip: You’re trying to devil’s advocate without knowing the situation… seriously, there is no moral high ground there. It’s a lawn that hasn’t been mowed in going on 3 years.
1) Like I said, I reserve the right to not be fair. I’m a self-righteous asshole. Anyone who has read any blog/socialnetwork type thing of mine over the last 20 years or so knows that. What makes it work is that I’m a really charismatic, intelligent and lovable self-righteous asshole. The people love me for it! Don’t you, people?
2) Self-righteous assholery aside, I’m also legally right. The city has specifically made it clear that they’re in violation. The problem is that the city doesn’t follow up on their threats.
Ah, Now we have three sides, Mav’s side, Legal side, and what is right. Mav’s side coincides with legal side somewhat, and subjectively with what is right.. The problem is that what is right *is* subjective– and arguments can be made from any number of positions.
I don’t understand your argument, Philip. If Chris can’t demand that his neighbor keep the weeds to a reasonable height, what gives anyone else the right to allow their pollen, noise, pollution, etc., on to his property?
I’d argue that this is a rare case where “What is legal”, “What is right”, and “Mav’s Moral Highground As Supreme Lord Emperor of the Universe” match up perfectly.
What is reasonable?
After the kids found not one but TWO guns in another yard in our neighborhood, god only knows what’s in those weeds for one of the many children to find.
Of course you would mav! lol
Nah, the nice thing about being Supreme Lord High Emperor of the universe is that I’m usually pretty good about noting when my personal views don’t match up with reality when asked.
If only there were some sort of organization responsible for deciding what is reasonable. Perhaps a group of people, chosen by consensus of the people who live in an area, could be specifically designated to think about and make decisions about what constitutes reasonable resolutions when different people assert conflicting rights?
Mac use them for a short story of old vs young
I think you should get a machete. When we were kids, we had a ton of fun with a couple of machetes and some hedgeclippers making tunnels throughout the overgrown area near us.
I’m with Phillip.. Screw the social contract…let nature reassert itself: cut down the humans (except the kids…they can go live at Granny’s), burn their dwelling to ash, then plant their heads on flaming pikes over a meticulous, freshly mowed lawn. And remember to thank the heads for liberating you from the falsehood of a communal aesthetic.
(and since sarcasm doesn’t translate over the internet, I’m totally kidding everyone who doesn’t know me…)
Joy: The problem is it’s not my yard. I don’t want them coming into my yard, so I’m not going into theirs. And really, I don’t want to be responsible for their yard anyway. “We’re not animals, we live in a society!” (Joke exclusively for Max and Stephanie)
I’m sorry to hear that you were kidding, George, I’m afraid I’m going to have to unlike your original comment, when I have a couple minutes to do it.
Philip, if you want nature to take back the city, fine. Move to Detroit.
I though George was on to something…
Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.
Jeff, if the standard were that people couldn’t allow pollen off of their property, no one would be allowed to grow any outdoor plants at all.
Keith, If the neighbors have the right to do whatever they want on their property, Mav has the right to demand that it doesn’t spill over onto his property, otherwise his neighbors’ rights are trumping his.
Pollen in general, no, but there are a lot of weeds where you are supposed to keep them under control enough that they do not flower (and therefore do not spread pollen, nor do they seed). There’s technically a height limit of 6″ on weeds and lawn grass within city limits. Ornamental grasses are just fine (I have some 6′ ones on my property), and I doubt anyone would give anyone guff about a managed habitat for wildlife in the form of a meadow. But an overgrown lawn *is not a meadow* and often does not provide good habitat for native wildlife, because it is usually full of invasives that damage the region’s biodiversity by driving out native plants.
Jeff: so, by your definition of property rights, no one is allowed to grow any outdoor flowering plants unless they have permission from every other property owner onto whose property the pollen might spread? So, if, for example, I wanted to plant a persimmon tree, I’d need the permission of every property owner in a two mile radius because otherwise I’d be trampling on their property rights? And if my neighbors decide that they dislike oak pollen, then I have to cut down my oak trees?
Keith, are you deliberately misinterpreting me?
Buy the kids a goat…how could the dad get mad at you for buying his kids a goat? Kill two birds with one stone!
Somewhere in the middle east.. a starving goat dreams of your neighbors lawn.
No, Jeff. I’m not deliberately misinterpreting you. I’m asking things as questions because I find your stance confusing. You don’t seem interested in answering them. It sounds from what you’ve said so far like you think that if his neighbor’s unkempt yard spills pollen over into Mav’s yard, they’re violating his rights. Wouldn’t the same standard apply to the oak pollen from my oak trees? That definitely gets all over my neighbor’s yard and on windy days, probably about three or four houses down.