Felt like ranting a little, and was going to do it in my blog, but then figured I might as well do it here as well. So hey, this little rant will be in both places. So check over there if you want to see what livejournal people are saying on the subject.
Steph and I were watching TV tonight and there was a commercial that I took note of. It was a commercial for the Commemorative Barack Obama Historic Victory plate. Because of the unprecedented demand they are expecting orders of this historic heirloom from the American Historic Society to be SO HIGH, they are limiting orders to no more than TWO PER HOUSEHOLD! So like order yours now and everything.
Excuse me for a moment, while I go outside…
WHAT IN THE BLOODY BLUE FUCK!?!?!?!
Ahem… Excuse me. Sorry about that, I’m back now.
Ok, I get that there are Obama fans out there. Really, first black president, it is pretty historic. Totally, get that. And seriously, I’m the last person to disparage anyone for wasting their money on stupid crap. I spend tons of money on tons of stupid crap. But seriously, who the fuck buys this shit?
I mean, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen a commercial like this of course, there’s always been random plates, coins and chess sets made to celebrate the birth of the nation, the civil war, space shuttle explosions, planes flying into skyscrapers and whatever. They’ve always been there. I’m 34 years old, and if it’s not obvious, I’ve watched like a LOT of TV in my life. I’ve seen these commercials a million times over the years, but I’ve never bought a single commemorative plate.
I know lots of people. People from all walks of life. I have friends who are lawyers and friends who are cab drivers. I know millionaires and welfare moms. I have friends and family who are christians, jews, muslims, buddhists, pagans, wiccans and atheists. I’ve been in apartments and farm houses. Mansions and the projects. I have wined and dined with kings and queens and slept in alleys and dined on pork and beans (thanks, Dusty). But I have never ever EVER seen anyone who owned one of these plates. Not EVER!!!
And yet, somehow the Franklin Mint remains in business to this day! It just doesn’t make any sense.
The real shame of it is that they still make this crap and yet they don’t offer the TimeLife series of books anymore. How will younger generations learn of John Wesley Hardin and how he once shot a man for snoring too loud.
So who the hell buys these things? Do you know anyone who owns one? If so what plate? And it doesn’t just have to be plates. Do you know anyone who owns the coins or chess sets? And if you do, please send them my way and let them know that I am now offering the commemorative edition Chris Maverick Infinity plate. I’m accepting pre-orders today for only $19.95. Each plate is hand crafted and comes with an authentic signed certificate of authenticity. Get one now and pass them along as family heirlooms. Be a part of history today!
My mom sent me one of those plates actually.
It’s like the most white trash thing ever and I’m totally on your side.
But I own one.
@Jack Scoresby: you own the actual Obama one? Seriously? I’m totally going to need to see a picture of you holding that.
Dude, you are a crack-up!
Screw the plates… I’m laying low for the official Franklin Mint – President Barack Obama, "Yes We Can", garbage cans!
The banality of evil, with genuine gold leaf.
Love the pic!
@TeeRoe: thanks. Oh please tell me that there really are Yes We Can garbage cans.
@Ranj Niere: thank you.
You’re definitely my son! I have been laughing about these plates since I saw the first commercial. Maybe people are just hiding their stuff when you come over; perhaps you look like you might covet their impressive plate collection. I don’t know of anyone right now that owns this particular plate, but when I was coming of age, MANY folks had framed pics on the wall of 3 men… Martin Luther King Jr., John F. Kennedy and Jesus! Of course that’s probably because the folks I knew couldn’t afford the plates… just framed some pics. Figured that’s just as good, right?
@lrayholly: actually, I had a whole paragraph about the black trinity (King, Kennedy and Jesus, Jesus sometimes being replace by Malcolm X) in this rant originally, but decided to strike it because most people had them in photo form, not plate form and it was really just kinda making the rant longer and kinda a tangent.
I seriously own the actual Obama one. Picture… someday.
You should get the Sham-WOW guy to sell those plates on late night cable access.
Holy crap…and I do mean crap. But then again, have you seen those scary ass dolls they sell? People have rooms FULL of those, and that is creepy too.
mav, if I was going to buy a tacky commemorative plate, it would be yours.
@j.buck: I seriously don’t get why the Sham-WOW guy has become such a cult sensation. I mean his product really isn’t THAT ridiculous as far as late night infomercials go and really he doesn’t have anywhere near the personality that Tommy Wu, Tony Little or Matthew Lesko. He just seems to have found his spot.
@twnklmoon: yeah, someone mentioned those on the blog entry version.
@jacquez45: awww… thanks.
All I know is that I can listen to the sham wow guy all day.
I grew up on Time-Life books too. I haven’t given them much thought in a while, but I guess they were a good intro to world at large to young Kevin. Screw the plates, I want another series of books!
I guess this is a bad time to tell you I ordered a couple?
@khaughwout: see, if you still had the collection that would be awesome.
@beststephi: *sigh* and our relationship was so good while it lasted.
I think I know or used to know someone who collected the commemorative/souvenir spoons. But plates? Those just take up a lot of room, and what do you do when they break? It’s not like they’re going to make the Obama plate forever.
@marmal8: no, they’re not! in fact, the commercial even says they’re destroying the mold after like 65 days or something like that! It would be tragic!
ok, has anyone pointed out that they now sell obama lava lamps? because i think it’s worth mentioning since it’s so utterly ridiculous….
@chrismaverick: I’m pretty sure that most, if not all, of those Time-Life books are still in boxes or bookshelves at my dad’s house, so awesomeness endures.
Finally – someone has voiced my opinion and I didn’t have to (for fear of being labeled something I’m not) and like you it doesn’t just concern this particular set of plates – but ALL of them. I did know an old lady when I was younger who would by these plates – she dialed every time she saw a new one.
Its to the point where I HAVE to change the channel when I see the coin/plates/whatever or I just screech. How do they stay in business?? It just goes to show you – there are suckers and people with too much time and money on their hands.
Oh – and the most frequent place I’ve seen these ‘amazing’ items – Antique malls…with even higher price tags.