I got a comment from a flickr member, the other day. I opened and read it, it said they were suckers.
Apologies to Chuck D.
So yesterday, I got a comment on an alternate 365 photo from my first year. It’s a picture of me hanging out with Steph and two other girls in bikinis in a river. The comment is reprinted below for posterity:
three white girls with a black guy. that’s even worse than one white girl with a black guy. blacks are so blah in the looks department.
A couple minutes later, he apparently felt the need to comment again and added:
even just ot have their picture taken with them it’s disgusting. gross gross gross. I don’t see what white women in see in black men or what white men see in black women. you see more white women with black men than you do white men with black women, that just goes to show that white men are the smartest of the lot. or at least have better taste and sense.
Despite the lack of grammar beyond a second grade level, I was reasonably able to parse it. It seems our friend no likey a fine nubian hunk of manhood like myself seducing his Caucasian womenfolk into fornication with the power of my mysterious ebon skin and sheer fortitude of my 12 inch African manroot.
I felt the need to respond to his inquiry, and did so in as polite a manner as I could muster:
you know, if you’re so much smarter and superior then how come I’m fucking three of your women?"
Just call me "Mavdingo!"
I had several friends jump to my defense, not that I really need it of course. Some told me to turn the other cheek. That’s not my style either. Steph suggested I respond making fun of his grammar. Nope. That’s not how I roll. See, for me, it’s all about the honesty.
So let me break it down for you people. There’s no sense keeping the secret any longer.
The blacks are taking over.
Yes, I know the white man has long considered us inferior. I know with the ebonics and the rap music and well, Urkel, you assume that we are a lesser class of being, put here to be mocked and spat upon.
But we are not. Watch your sports. We have been dominating there for years. We started with baseball, football and basketball. The basics. Something we could dominate without you paying much attention. Afterall, you bred the black man to be a slave. Naturally his gifts are more suited to the barbaric world of sport. Just look at boxing, it is full of warrior negroes. The very type that in simpler times would plow your fields. Simple barbaric sports. The ones that the negro might be able to amuse himself with in "the ghetto."
But while you weren’t looking we moved on. The finest golf player on the planet today is a black man. The two most dominating tennis players are african american sisters, and yet there are no golf courses or tennis courts in "the hood." Haven’t you ever wondered if somehow the domination of the negro is spreading?
You’re right, it is.
You see, many years ago, we had a meeting. We felt that over four hundred years of slavery and oppression was enough. We felt that it was past time to give the white man his just recourse. The golden age of honkitude must give way like the stone age before it. The rise of the black man is upon us.
We were each given jobs. We would infiltrate the arts, the sciences, atheletics and politics. Every year there would simply be more and more of us. Until finally, in the 22nd century, the white man would be but a humble servant to his nubian masters.
Did you think it an accident that all of a sudden a black man is a hairs breath away from your presidency? HAHAHAHAHAH!!! Foolish Crackers!!!!
My job is that of breeder. You see, unlike your foolish aryan ancestors who sought to separate and segregate what they believed to be a lesser being from their populace, the advanced negro mind realizes the folly of that plan. You see, in order for the culture to grow strong, we must embrace the diversity of all races. For only then can the true genetic superman come to pass. Yes, we are the superior race, but if we are to evolve even further… well to put it in simple terms that even you can understand… we need your whiteness.
That’s where I come in. My assignment, as one of the most genetically gifted and virile of my kind is to pass my seed amongst your womanfolk. This accomplishes two tasks. First there is the obvious benefit of the production of offspring who will be the alphas amongst the new world order.
But in addition, once your women have been thoroughly pleasured, and for the first time satisfied to levels of ecstasy they will become docile to our cause. Not only will they not have the energy to aide your resistance after six hours of strenuous intercourse, but so satisfied will they be that they will cease copulation with the sexually and pigmentally challenged males of their own race. You see, it is true. Once you go black, you do not go back.
So why do I admit this now. After all these many years, is it simply one ignorant troll upon flickr that has caused us to abandon our clandestine plan. Not at all. The hapless troglodyte merely managed to be in the right place at the right time. This is much bigger than him. It is much bigger than us all.
You see, we need your help. Back when the wheels were set in motion, we planned for all conceivable obstacles that might arise. However, in even the best laid plans, there are bumps in the road. We have hit one of those bumps.
The hispanics happened upon our plans barely a decade ago, and decided to try and out do us. Somehow they have managed to multiply their forces with even greater expeditiousness than we negroes can. They must be stopped.
I can no longer afford to seduce and fornicate with caucasian women one at a time. For efficiency we must now fornicate with you in groups of three or more. Preferably at least 5 at a time, or we shall never get through you all. So if white women shall kindly start taking numbers and lining up outside my door, I shall get to you as quickly as possible.
And don’t you people get any ideas about trying to revolt and fight back. It is over for the white race. You are but dinosaurs on your way to extinction. Except it graciously and with honor. All that is left for you is to decide. Who is it that you really want to inherit the earth?
The niggers or the beaners?
I thought so.
So now, Who wants to sex Mavdingo?!?!?
Keeping Waving my brotha.. Fight the power.
This made my day!!! My high was blown the day after OBAMA’s speech…I needed this pick me up. MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! This could be an ongoing serious….THE REVERSE WILLIE LYNCH
I think i just fell in love with you!!!!
Wait… what do you mean "you people"?
LOL… I’m sure you’ve just blown his mind.
Have mercy! You’ve blown your cover dammit! I told you to keep it under wraps. Oh wait… that was the counter plan… nevermind.
Your comment back to him was amazing.
I hate people like that. I’m so glad my mom taught me not to see people in colours. Cause I really don’t. And I get really put off when people spout stupid racist comments like that.
And I’m totally taking a number. Even though you’re not a chick.
I always knew you were up to something.
I say we keep mixing the races until we’re all the same grayish color.
Hee hee! You rock.
lol. hey i’m all for mixing it up.. let’s mix all the colors and see what we get 😉 any ladies want to volunteer?! you can start here with this portuguese hunk. lol
…and it’s not just sports — it’s Flickr too!!!
Aw geez, Mav, did you really have to feed the troll and its conspiracy theories? For Pete’s sake, you’re just…egging…him…on…! Um…did you–– (?) Hmm.
By golly, you’re…serious…aren’t you? You mean it’s REAL?? [locks door, calls upstairs] Susan, call 911!!
[eyes widening in desperate realization]
But the Saint Paul police chief is…[gasp!]…BLACK!! Oh, for the love of Mike!! What’ll we do now??!
@DrkMage: Don’t believe the hype!
@VAN JOHNSON PHOTOGRAPHY: thanks
@j o o b o o s: well naturally, you are a white woman in your sexual prime after all. That’s the point. 😉
@Stephen Poff: Sorry… I meant your pigmentally challenged americans. I should be more clear. 😉
@lrayholly: yeah… the rules have all changed in this post-9/11 world. 🙂
@like_shipwrecks: thanks. Glad you liked it. And darlin’, you can have as many numbers as you want.
@Jack Scoresby: see, that’s what i like to see. A white man who accepts destiny! 😀
@Lucky in Love: thank you.
@☼ Helder: see, there they go! I told you all! Everyone knows that the Portuguese are just secret undercover Hispanics! 😉
@d.rex: thank you
@phlewght: See, I told you. By the time you’ve realized the conspiracy, it’s already too late.
Love your retort! I hate HATE!
shit. are you black?
@spresogna: yeah, I am. I’m sorry, I should have told you ages ago, but I just didn’t know how.
You weren’t supposed to tell anybody…
Now this guy will print this off and go to the
guy they know who can translate big words
and condense the message to:
"Black men bad, bad!"
Next thing you know it will be on a t-shirt or a bumper sticker, or heaven forbid, ballcaps on sale at the truck stop.
@DeHoll: woah… I bet those could sell!
@DeHoll & @chrismaverick: Hell yeah, I’d buy one!