Today’s Wistful Career Change Decision: Door-to-Door Salesman and Missionary. Who would like a Kirby Vacuum Cleaner and some Jesus?

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Minor saint with penchant for reptiles and ugly colors. Who wants to drink to me?

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Rocketman! I’m gonna be high as a kite, burning out my fuse up here alone. Just my job 5 days a week

Today’s Wistful Career Change Decision: God of Thunder. Someone give me a hammer and a 9-volt battery. I think I can make this work.

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Customer Service Operator. I’m pretty sure I can be clueless, condescending and incomprehensible.

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Head of Exploratory Comm. Running for office? Buying a company? Should you eat that cupcake? Call me!

I think I want to be a professional tweeter. But writing a wistful career change decision saying that would just be too meta.

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Somali Pirate of Penzance! I’ll rape, pillage and murder. But with song and dance!

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Inner City Social Worker You thought I was gonna say new star of Two & a half men, didn’t you?

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Wu-Tang Clan member. I think they still need a New Dirty Bastard.

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Human Beat Box! P-P-P-Budda-Budda-Pt-Pt-Pt-Budda Budda-Pt-P-P-Pt-Hahaha-Buh-Buh-Buh!!!!

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: Classic Motown Singer. I need 3-4 other black dudes and some shiny pastel suits. Who’s in?

Todays wistful career change decision: Hutt Crime Boss. Now auditioning gold bikini slavegirls, Mandalorian bounty hunters & Rancors.

Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: MTV Twiter Jockey. Just because I still can’t believe that’s like a real thing.