Did Sirius really just play a radio commercial encouraging you to buy .xxx domains even for non-porn uses? Uhhhhh….

Happiness is Chips Ahoy Chunky Chocolate Chip Cookies dipped in hot Darjeeling Blend tea. Don’t you wish you were as sophisticated as me.

I really want a drink…. luckily some problems I actually CAN solve…

I think I want to hire a doorman for my house. All the class and convenience of nice apartment living but in a single family dwelling.

Long John Silversfoursquare

Funkadelic Halloween Bashfoursquare

Dear young people: I grew up in Cleveland on the fucking lake & i’m telling you if you’re wearing shorts in 30F weather you’re a dumbass!

Star of Indiafoursquare

Mr. Dinosaur!foursquare

Today’s wistful life advice: EVERYTHING is like Wu-shu. Also, don’t worry, it’s only a broken arm.

Todays Wistfu Career Change Decision: Apothocary. I just like saying the word. Plus I get to bleed people with leeches. How cool is that!?!