
I think I may have my outfit for this years Great Race.
Today’s wistful career change decision: 2016 Gold Medal Olympian. At beer pong. Time to start that vigorous training regimen now.
Today’s Wistful Career Change Decision: Another year older and deeper in debt. So, yeah… who wants to buy me a drink?
Ok, it’s midnight… which means, “It’s my birthday, I’ll die if I want to, die if I want to, die if I want to… you would die too, if it happened to you… woah woah woah woah….” Ummm… or something like that… Anyway, Enjoy my wall, bitches…
Dear @iTunesMusic , can you please buy @uvvu just to shut it down? I have yet to get a single digital download to work.
Todays Wistful Career Change Decision: High School Chem Teacher turned Meth Cook. I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS! (ok, just wanted to say that)
To this day, whenever I hit 88mph on the highway, there’s a moment where I hope I travel through time. #IGrewUpInThe80s
ugh, Peter Jackson says the Hobbit is gonna be 3 films instead of the previously planned 2. You know what, Jackson? Fuck you.
Today’s Wistful Career Change Decision: A guy about to rock. You may now salute me.
Each they ask Michael Phelps if he’s retiring you can see his eyes say “I’m old, I’m rich, I want to be a slacker pothead. Leave me alone.”
If I ever had a daughter, I’d hand her over to Béla Károlyi at birth so he could turn her into a superhero by age 13. #Olympics