“Clearly none of my profs are football fans. They don’t understand that this isn’t a good paper writing weekend!” Student in my Arthur class

Sometimes I’m not sure the onion is satire. Maybe it’s just the most honest paper in the modern world.Teenage Girl Blossoming Into Beautiful ObjectARLINGTON, TX—Calling the transformation both delightful and stunning, friends and family members confirmed Tuesday that 17-year-old Ashley Parker was blossoming into an absolutely gorgeous object. According to Parker’s relatives, in the span…

So apparently I can move to Alaska and still be in Steelers country. “Double Yoi!”

I’m forming a band called Musical MiddleAge. In an act of rebellion we will only pass dutchies on the right hand side.

People keep following me on Pinterest but I’ve never used it. I almost feel obligated to but now I’m afraid my 1st pin would be a letdown.

nice!How Newegg crushed the “shopping cart” patent and saved online retailIt's game over for a patent troll that sued nearly 50 big retailers.

“The church supported the sanctity of marriage but not with the same fervor it does in Arkansas today.” -My arthurian legend prof.

Bonus points to @JustThatNerdKid for being the first person to notice (after like 3 years) that my iPad background is Penny Gadget’s book.

Granted I’ve not seen it at all, but can safely I assume that with 2 episodes aired, “the Carrie Diaries” has been cancelled?

sigh… I mean, I don’t want Baltimore to win, but I can’t root for New England. I just… can’t. Is there any way they can both lose?

In the TV universe since everyone’s phone number starts with 555- what do fake phone numbers start with?

there… the chocolate beer I brewed is bottled. That’s the good news. Bad news is I still have to wait 2 weeks to drink it. DAMMIT!!!

Wow. The Jehovah’s Witnesses have the worst telemarketers ever. They should really outsource to India.

the best part of marriage is I can buy really geeky stuff like this and not worry about not getting laid. Well… maybe… http://t.co/QqCaj6V1Marvel Spiderman Men's Red Costume HoodyThis hoody is made with quality materials.

I love that the state congressman pushing for legal weed in Pennsylvania is named “Bizzarro.”http://t.co/eYEmYEK2Time To Legalize Marijuana In PA?With the growing number of states legalizing marijuana…one Philadelphia Senator asks the question, is it time to legalize marijuana here in Pennsylvania?