Someone asked me today if I was gonna have Jammy Jam. Last year I was in Vegas so I skipped it. This year, I’ll likely be really poor as that month (August) as that’s when I stop being gainfully employed and become a lowly grad student. On the other hand, it’s the end of my…

dear idiot credit card guy. You have my home #. If I don’t want to give you my cell, what on earth makes you think I’ll give you my work #?

words to live by

wow….Andy Griffith died… wait a minute… Andy Griffith was alive? Anyway, RIP. How do you whistle a tribute on twitter?

Run Tip: Even if you’re dehydrated in 90F heat after 5+ miles it’s impossible to not go all out when The Power by Snap comes on your iPhone

I’ve decided to start my own internet hoax. Who wants to help? Tweet/FB it like it’s the truth! http://t.co/kA0pVzQ5http://t.co/kA0pVzQ5

If newspapers are going away will people one day line their kitty litter boxes with kindles and iPads?

Dear anyone convicted of road rage: you were screwed. Anyone stuck 20+ min. driving less than 100ft deserves to shoot at lease one person.

If it takes a village to raise a child, why didn’t I get to fuck his mom?