NewPope is rethinking celibacy for priests. NewPope is all kindsa crazy. I like him. “Hi, I’m Pope now. I’m infallible. i gots to get laid!”

Can’t decide if @Alyssa_Milano fucking to Syria coverage is scary or hot. Ok, it’s Alyssa, its hot(& clever & funny). http://t.co/hBWoa5eo0bAlyssa Milano Made A Sex Tape And It's Really Important That You Watch It. I'm Not Joking.I don't share celebrity sex tapes. So don't panic when you click this. Pretty safe for work.

Did you know Facebook has changed its terms of service again? If you don’t repost this message immediately, Mark Zuckerberg will personally come to your house and bitch slap you across the mouth. I know what you’re thinking “but he’s a little nerd. I’m not afraid of him!” Big mistake, yo… Zuckerberg’s pimp hand is…

Hey! These aren’t even all porn! some of them are Skinemax movies… Ummm… should I be admitting that I know that?Spend your long weekend laughing at the weirdest porn spoofs [NSFW]Porn isn't exactly known for its brilliant acting and intricate storytelling. But when X-rated videos take on some of the most high-concept movies and TV…

The rhetoric is slanted to the left but THIS is why I always get pissed when someone argues for welfare drug testing http://t.co/QaGrWlFgSTThe Myth of Welfare and Drug UseTesting recipients is about humiliation. That’s why the GOP keeps adding screening laws. By Jamelle Bouie.

I love how my cat wakes me up to pretend she wants me to cuddle with her and pet her… but really she just wants to be fed. Cats are whores.

*sigh* I wish I was smart… I needed more deodorant, so I drove up to the store (two blocks away, but it was raining). While I was up there, I remember I needed to call my mom. So I did, while I was standing in the aisle. I talked to her for five minutes then…

So yes, my first official act as an English teacher was to give a pop quiz asking who is better, Batman or Superman.

Still need one more fantasy football player. Free league. Draft is this Wednesday night. Let me know if you’re interested.

Overheard at the bar: Woman: he’s almost like a Jewish person the way he’s so frugal. Man: hey! You can’t say that! Woman: not that there’s anything wrong with that! Man: you still can’t say that Jews are cheap. Woman: I didn’t say Jews! I said Jewish! I’m not sure she gets how Jewish works.

I need one more fantasy football player to fill my league. Anyone interested? It’s free. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Ok, since like half my friends list (or at least everyone named Mike) is apparently upset enough to say “Affleck is Batman, but didn’t you idiots see Daredevil” (Cough, Mike, Mikey, Michael, Cough), let’s actually think this through… Will Affleck be able to play Batman? I started to post this as a comment on everyone…

Day 2 of phd orientation. Day 2 up at ass early 7am. I’m a fucking English major. I did not do this to be up before noon.