Seriously, Sanrio are marketing geniuses. Have you been on the internet the last coupe of days? “Oh my god! What do you mean Hello Kitty is a human girl and not a cat?!?!? Forget Gaza! Forget Robin Williams! Fuck the Ice Bucket Challenge! This is an outrage! I’m calling my congressman! Someone get Liam Neeson on this STAT!”
People are so outraged about this earth shattering news that they forgot the most important thing about Hello Kitty. THEY DON’T ACTUALLY CARE!!!
Seriously? Hello Kitty isn’t a cat. She isn’t a human. She isn’t even really a “she.” She’s barely even a cartoon character. Think about it… Show of hands. Who has ever actually watched the Hello Kitty cartoon? Nobody! The character has been around for 40 years, and in that time there have been like 100 episodes (across like three or four attempts at doing a series) on American television. Of course they’re HUGE IN JAPAN! But so is Cheap Trick, so… you know…
The thing is, Sanrio were marketing geniuses before this. Hello Kitty isn’t even really supposed to be an animated character. She was invented as a logo on clothing and accessories. She just took off somehow and morphed from a one-time, one-use character into a $7 billion industry. And now people are talking even more, so instant buzz equals dollars. So I get why Sanrio is making a big deal of this. But really, she’s basically supposed to be a clothing logo. So caring about her species makes as much sense as debating the gender of the Nike swoosh or the race of the DKNY logo.
Seriously… I don’t get it. I mean, I pay more attention to pop culture ridiculousness than any person ever should, and *I* don’t get it. Why are so many people into this? I mean, I get that there was one point where Hello Kitty was like ironically cool in the hipster crowd. But even that was like a decade ago (at a point when there were only 13 actual cartoon episodes total). And ironic hipsters are generally pretty good at not caring about media attention to pop culture fads, you know, at least until they get a real job or something. In fact, isn’t something being popular with the masses exactly what the hipsters are avoiding? Or did Hipsterism change while I wasn’t looking? Next week do we get debate the politics of the Snorks? (because that would be awesome. The Snorks rule! Bite me!) And while we’re at it, can someone please tell me how the Monchhichis feel about the Affordable Care Act? Because I’m a better ironic hipster than any of you because I remember the Monchhichis and the rest of you are like “what the fuck is a Monchhichi and why did Mav not link to it so I didn’t have to google it?” And by the way, they’re human too, they just have a minor testosterone problem is all. Stop judging!
Really though? I am curious. Who over the age of 7 is actually following this? Who has an opinion? Who even remembered that Hello Kitty existed before 48 hours ago?
And for the rest of you… those of you who aren’t crazy… ummm… enjoy this Hello Kitty inspired photoshoot I did like 4 years ago. Because… ummm… I dunno why. I just feel like I need to reward you for reading this far. (If you’re reading this on Facebook you have to click through to the blog to see them. They’re there. Enjoy. If you’re reading this on Google+ — ah who am I kidding? No one is reading this on Google+)