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Juggs for Jesus

Strippers-Protest-‘Topless’-at-Church’s-Sunday-ServiceHeh, this is pretty great… Maybe the best #FreeTheNipple story I’ve heard. If you’re too lazy to read the link (which is mostly a video), basically: there’s a church (New Beginnings Ministry) in Warsaw, OH that is apparently down the street from a Strip Club (Foxhole North). Chruchgoers have been protesting in front of the strip club for the last nine years because, you know… Jesus. As I’ve said before, the female nipple is Satan’s Gateway and all that. Anyway, the owner and dancers at the club apparently got sick of it and last weekend decided to go and protest in front of the church (topless). And of course the pastor and churchgoers are kind of upset.

Bad_Habit_Nun_Co_51cc9b17c9f88Lots of thoughts here:

  1. How did the church not see this coming? I mean their hypocrisy on it doesn’t surprise me. But how did they not foresee the possibility that a counter protest might occur?  People counter protest stuff all the time. Hell, christian groups counter protest stuff. That’s how protests work.
  2. A strip club protested a church!!!! How is this not happening like everywhere all the time? Because it’s awesome and it should be!
  3. Why am I not in charge of this? I mean, only six of the women went topless, which is fine, but if I were running things, the Official protest outfit would be something like this! Come on, think outside of the box, people? Protests are about looking good on TV! Seriously, the Foxhole needs a Rosa Parks here.
  4. Since they claim they’re going to keep doing this, who wants to drive out to Warsaw, OH with me next Sunday to show support? I kind of want to go down there and hand out Ben Dunn and Milo Manara comic books. Also, I really do kinda just want to be holding a protest sign that says “Juggs for Jesus.”
  5. They need to have someone there, well read in Christian lore, prepared to spout back bible verses at the church-goers that tell them about Jesus hating sinners and all. Because you know, Jesus kinda had a thing for “whores.” I mean, he really did. Read the book.
  6. There’s an aside here where my mind goes off on a tangent and I see Jesus as “that guy” in the strip club who shows up over and over and really just keeps trying to take his favorite girl, lets call her Mary Magdalene, away from the “the life.” Every strip club has one.
  7.  Nine years? The club has WAY more patience than I would have
  8. Seriously… Juggs for Jesus. It just flows.

Of course I’ll probably be too lazy (and poor) to actually do it. Dammit.

3 comments for “Juggs for Jesus

  1. avatar
    August 13, 2014 at 4:39 pm

    I would certainly support this. But I’m guessing it doesn’t happen because strip clubs are often merely tolerated and keeping quiet likely means less harassment from local LEO.

  2. avatar
    August 13, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    well, there’s usually not an immediate up side. Protesting is work and there has to be something to be gained. In this case, the protestors are fighting back so that gives them an impetus. But if some random strippers who weren’t being harassed just showed up and started picketing a random church that would both look bad and accomplish nothing.

  3. avatar
    August 13, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    Dmitri: nah. Not really. Sex is one of those magical things that people will always pay for even if they are getting some for free. Same reason porn sites still thrive even though there’s free stuff like youporn.

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