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Klingons are going to hell… uh….

10-8-07You know, if you want to be a biblical literalist, sure fine… go on. I mean, not for me, but yeah. But this just takes a special kind of crazy. So creationist Ken Ham recently penned a column where he explains that space exploration is useless, not because there is obviously not life on other planets, but because, if there is it doesn’t matter because they’re going to Hell anyway.

Well that’s new.

I mean, I’m used to people using the bible as proof that the Big Bang never happened or there is no evolution or whatever. But generally, those claims pretty much just ignore the possibility of life off this planet altogether.

I mean, look, I think it’s pretty clear that I’m going to Hell. I think we all worked that out a long time ago. I’m good with it… you know laughing with the sinners and crying with the saints and all that…

But really, the part I don’t get is his insinuation that if there is life on other planets it’s pointless to look for them because they’re doomed to Hell. Isn’t like one of the big points of Christianity supposed to be to save the heathens who haven’t found Jesus yet? You’d think that aliens would open up a whole new (literal) world(s) of people to proselytize to. Just writing them off seems very unchristian to me. 

And his logic is kind of dizzying even for biblical literalists. He accepts that there might be other life. He accepts that if there are, they aren’t descendant of Adam. He accepts that Adam and Even unleashed original sin on the whole universe, so even their non-descendants are affected. He accepts that Jesus is the only way to be saved from said sin. But for some reason, only the descendants of Adam (who is responsible for said sin) are eligible for redemption. In other words, Ken Ham’s god is kind of dick.

alien canthouseReally though, I’m kind of amused that this guy is at least thinking about these sorts of things. I mean, sure I write about stuff like this, but I’m an asshole.

Oh well, if nothing else, at least that means that all of Kirk’s hot alien babes will end up in Hell with me, and that ain’t all bad. You know, I totally could have chosen a hot alien babe from Battlestar Galactica, to make this joke, but that just seemed to obvious and not old skool enough. And there’d be all kinds of theological questions that get opened up when you talk about BG and stuff.

And moreover, Ham ACTUALLY DOES MAKE A KLINGON REFERENCE IN HIS RANT. Like, he honestly and truly made a reference to the possibility of a Klingon Jesus.

So green babe it is!

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