I just got a call from the worst con artist of all time. I believe it might have actually been like a con-man training course.
I have composed a short one act play to commemorate it. The part of Mav will be played by me. The part of “dude” will be played by a man with a very heavy Indian accent:
dude: Hello? Hello? (mumbling to someone in the background i hindi) Hello Is anyone there? (More Mumbling.) Hello? (he finally hears me, I guess he’s had a bad connection) Hello? Is this Mrs… uh… Sill-her? I would like to speak to Mrs. Sillher?
Mav: She’s not here may I take a message?
dude: Err uh… yes, This is Robert Harris. I’m with the Windows Computer. (hindi mumbling in background). Yes and Mrs Sillher has called asking for our technical support on your (hindi mumbling) Ummmm, do you have access to computer right now.
Mav: yeah, that didn’t happen. How did you get this number?
dude: I don’t know. I’m with the Windows computer and
Mav: No you aren’t. That’s not a thing
dude: Sir, you do have a computer do you not?
Mav: Ummm… yes…
dude: We we are getting reports from your computer right now (hindi mumbling) your computer is sending out messages (hindi mumbling) and we need you to
Mav: Yeah, Robert? It’s Robert right?
dude: (hindi mumbling) yes sir…
Mav: You’re like really bad at this Robert.
dude: But sir, I am with the Windows Computer and we can see that…
Mav: That’s not even a thing, Robert. How did you get this number?
(Click… phone goes dead)