ChrisMaverick dotcom



Day 1066 of 365 Again.

Welcome to Sexual Biology 101. I’m your instructor, Professor Maverick.

So ever since I decided to open Maverick’s School for Wayward Girls, I’ve been meaning to work on exactly what curriculum I would teach there. I’d been too busy to work on it though.

Anyway, this weekend, my friend Amaya started tweeting her only little vagina monologue. I found it funny, and told Steph about it. This started Steph talking about one of her big pet peeves. Namely that people use the term "vagina" to refer to the entirety of the female genitalia as opposed to referring to the labia, clitoris, etc. by their separate and unique names.

I countered that the same is done with the penis. She claimed it was different, but I maintain that while perhaps not medically accurate, if I am referring to my penis, I generally intend for that to cover the inclusion of my testicles and scrotum as well.

But she’s right. It’s medically incorrect. But I’m not a medical doctor. I’m a doctor of pimpology, and I believe that generalized sexual terms are necessary.

I proposed to Steph that while the medical terms might be more specific, certainly colloquial slang is more generalized. As such, I argued that the term "pussy" for instance might be more inclusive.

I actually expected her to counter that pussy was equivalent to vagina, but she surprised me arguing that pussy meant the external naughty bits. The labia and clitoris.

I argue that this can’t be. In the name of scientific study, take the following colloquial exclamation that might be uttered by one experimental female subject:

"Fuck my tight pussy with your rock hard cock, you son of a bitch!"

I’d argue that the woman speaking that phrase isn’t looking for a penis to be rammed into her labia, or even the clitoris, but is looking for deeper penetration along the vaginal canal. Conversely, if the subject had proclaimed:

"Lick that pussy until I cum, you filthy bastard!"

I’d argue that she is referencing her external genitalia and not in fact asking for that same vaginal canal to be massaged orally.

Along the same token, while I believe that a male subject might generally be referencing the shaft and glans of penis, as in the following pejorative:

"Take that cock deep inside of you, you dirty whore!"

I’d argue that in some cases he might be referring to a larger portion of his anatomy for instance if he were to offer the following instruction to his mate:

"Squeeze and lick that cock all over, you gorgeous and yet intelligent and capable woman!"

One might assume he is asking for attention to also be paid to the scrotum and perhaps perineum as well.

Obviously, we can’t simply resort to clinical definition during reproductive intercourse. Imagine the phrase:

"Ejaculate your seminal fluid into my ectocervix, you virile male gendered homosapien. My portio vaginalis hungers for your spermatozoa."

Our species would be extinct within a generation.

So what I’m wondering is how do other people use the terms. Do you expect vagina, penis, pussy, cock, dick, cunt, manroot, lady business, peepee and hoohoo to be medical specifics or more generalized areas. Does it vary from slang term to slang term?

And most importantly, was anyone actually turned on by my clinical dirty talk?

365 days

Crossposted to my regular blog.

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25 comments for “7-12-09

  1. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 3:07 am

    To be honest I was arroused after "Welcome to Sexual Biology 101" but i’m a freak like that….

    Seen on my Flickr home page. (?)

  2. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 4:53 am

    Do you offer online courses?

  3. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 4:58 am


  4. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 5:02 am

    I refer to the soft lower half of my torso as my stomach, even though I’m aware that my actual stomache is a very small portion of this.

  5. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 10:33 am

    I’m giggling far too hard to answer this. Also, I’m at work and shouldn’t be thinking such words 🙂

  6. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 10:46 am

    VAN JOHNSON PHOTOGRAPHY: uh yeah, that’s kinda weird.

    Mikey aka DaSkinnyBlackMan in Iraq: sadly, right now, there’s only online courses. We need to get funding so I can get a campus.

    ☼ Helder: thanks.

    SaylaMarz: Exactly, see, I think that’s a really good point.

    SutraT: Those are fine things to be thinking at work. You probably just shouldn’t say them out loud.

  7. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 11:01 am

    I’m totally turned on by the clinical dirty talk.

    Excuse me.

  8. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 11:17 am

    jessi.: oh you female homosapien, Your body temperature of 98.6 degrees combined with the visible portion of your mammary glands causes erotic stimulation throughout my erectile tissue!

  9. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 11:25 am

    Haha, I love this. For the most part, I believe slang word to just cover the area generally. However, after participating in Vagina Monologues this year, I was told there’s a strong push to teach people to use medical terms. Especially on a college campus. The health director would not let us call our vagina lollipops "twat pops" because she wanted us to be correct in what we were labeling.

  10. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 11:43 am

    viva la vibs: See, that’s fair. I think knowing the medical definitions and terms is important and useful. If you go to the doctor, it’s a lot more useful to say "I have a pain in my right ovary" than it is to say "My pussy hurts." But, I think for the ease of general conversation, concessions can, and should be made. As SaylaMarz said, I refer to the entire bottom half of my torso as a stomach even though that’s not really medically accurate.

  11. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 12:02 pm

    And shouldn’t the show be called the "Vulva Monologues", as that medical term is inclusive of all external female genitalia?

    The slang term "pussy" (as explained so crudely above) can cover both internal and external parts, but if the show were (crudely) called the "Pussy Monologues", I’m afraid I might think the show featured sweet little kitty-cats and their stories. How shocked I would be at the theater! 🙂

  12. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    Good call, phlewght! Hit up Eve Ensler (the Vagina Monologues writer) with that, maybe knock her a few steps down on the diva scale.

  13. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    I LOLed. Hard.

  14. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 12:46 pm

    phlewght: Crudely!?!? I thought I was quite eloquent. Anyway, I’ll never forget going to see the movie the Dark Crystal when it first came out. The commercials and ads all said "a fantasy staring Jim Henson’s Muppets" so the theater was packed with parents and little kids. By the time the movie finished, the theater was almost empty. Parents had to pull screaming children out the whole time.

    viva la vibs: I’m pretty sure people have probably brought it to her attention before. I’ve heard other people say it before.

    Jack Scoresby: My work here is done.

  15. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    I think some people, even some women, don’t realize that there’s a difference between the medical and commonly-used definitions of vagina (and, thanks to The Vagina Monologues, this could be increasing). This could lead to even more misunderstandings when talking to doctors, etc. (and it’s hard enough understanding doctors as it is!).

    Why not just say vulva instead, like phlewght suggests? It’s both medically accurate and doesn’t have the negative connotations as some other terms (comes from "to turn"). As for slang terms, I don’t really care.

  16. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    beststephi: honestly, I think it’s because "vulva" isn’t as pleasant sounding a word as "vagina." The English ear tends to prefer iambs (well, in this case, technically an amphibrach) to trochees. (there we go, putting my double English BA to good use).

  17. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 1:33 pm

    Slang terms are definitely enhancing the distance between the medical world and general public. I know women who don’t know what a cervix is. My own professor said she went to the gyno when she was younger and the woman said something about her cervix to which she said, what is that? I think if we’re going to use slang that’s fine and whatnot but we’ve gotta make sure in terms of true sex education, that young adults are aware of medical terms.

  18. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    viva la vibs: i think slang terms are useful. As I kinda joked above. One wouldn’t really want to use clinical names in all circumstances. That said, I agree with you about education in general and sex education in specific. Unfortunately the world is currently rather conservative about sex education, at the very least in the US. If we talk about cervices then we have to talke about birth control and that means it must be ok to have premarital sex and then the next thing you know there’ll be BARE BREASTS right there on tv. BREASTS for god’s sake. NEKKID!!! Right where everyone can see! It’d be horrible,

    So far safer for us to call it a hoohoo. Think of the children.

  19. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    And you know, bare breasts lead to out of control heterosexual men and rampant lesbians! Clinical terms will lead to total destruction. Hoohoo and Peepee it is!

  20. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    viva la vibs: I’m extremely liberal, so I don’t really understand the conservative viewpoint all that much, but I’m pretty sure that if you aren’t allowed to say penis or vagina you’re also not allowed to be a lesbian, rampant or otherwise.

  21. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    I’ll convert them to rampant lesbianism. I’ve got a good track record for that.

  22. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    viva la vibs: see! that’s precisely the kind of danger that Hoohoo Initiative seeks to prevent!

  23. avatar
    July 13, 2009 at 5:08 pm

    Trochees and iambs aside, people have to get used to using a word. Not that long ago, you couldn’t even say ‘penis’ or ‘vagina’ on TV, and those "feminine products" ads couldn’t say plainly what they were for. And even now people have various levels of discomfort saying these and other words.

    [add] Get those words out there, all of them! We need knowledge and "comfort level"! It took awhile for ‘vagina’ to become a semi-comfortable word to hear spoken. At some point we shall all embrace ‘vulva’. Even gay men. 8D

    (I was going to use a ‘P’, but I didn’t know just what you’d all think of me….) :]

  24. avatar
    August 24, 2010 at 5:02 am

    I’ve read this thread with a smile on my face Chris (my name is Christa btw) 😉 and I have to say that with raising surprise I take notice of the prudency ‘in general’ going on in the US, cos that’s also the country making the most profit out of pornmovies.. now that’s hypocrit I’d say..

    No where else in the world is so much fear of ‘the making love’ part or showing body parts as is in your country.. not meaning all ppl in the US.. mostly ofc the ones that set the rules I think. But in the same context.. why is it ‘you’ use the F-word so much.. ‘we’ don’t.. we swear with other terms… strange contradictions hehe..

    Still an amusing thread and thnkyou for posting! =))

    PS; I’m from Holland (Amsterdaaaammmm Yay! ^^)

  25. avatar
    July 4, 2014 at 5:31 pm


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