First of all, Happy Birthday to my mom.
Unfortunately this may be her last one. You see, my birthday is in a mere 18 days from now. And as I promised 221 days ago, I intend to make it a Blast! (hahaha… get it?)
I have spent the last several weeks toiling in my secret underground lab perfecting my intrergalactic death ray. It’s almost done and should be ready in plenty of time to destroy the Sun on my birthday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah… I’ve heard it all before, "No Mav, please don’t destroy the Sun!" Screw that, what has the Sun ever done for me?
But I’ve decided to give you all a chance to prove to me how much you want the Sun. I will spare the Sun for… let’s say 1 billion dollars in my amazon tip jar by my birthday, August 1st. Sure that seems like a lot, but hell, if you all pull together you’ll have it in no time. That is, if you really do want your precious Sun. MUHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
If you don’t want to pay the ransom I have on the Sun, I guess you could always try to bribe me. A good place to start would be my Amazon Wishlist, which has all kinds of fun stuff to bribe me with for my birthday. I can’t promise I won’t destroy the sun. But hey, maybe you’ll convince me. And if you don’t, well, you won’t be needing that money anymore anyway.
Oh, and if you’d like to surprise me with a joint bribe, I believe Steph is going to try to convince me to not destroy the sun by working with people to get me the super awesome car stereo I want. So you know, if you want to chip in for that, I’m sure she’d love to hear from you.