ChrisMaverick dotcom

5-23-08

5-23-08

Day 651 of 365 More.

You know, I used to actually be good at this stuff. I really was. I was so good I even got into a pretty exclusive art school.

Of course, they ruined me.

*sigh*

I swear, I’m not fishing for compliments. This is not an attempt to make people come out of the woodwork saying "you are good." And its not an attempt to belittle anyone who thinks they don’t draw as well as me.

It’s just that I’m not happy with where my pencilling skills are right now. To be fair, I’m not the same person I was. The person I used to be drew every day for 11 years or so. The person I am today misses that and has been trying to recapture it for 3 days.

I guess I can’t expect magic over night.

I just don’t know if I can expect magic at all. The thing is, it just doesn’t work how it used to. The thing that makes me a good(i think) photographer is that I see the composition I want in my mind long before I ever actually snap the shot. I’ve always said, I’m not really a photographer. I’m an artist. I just draw with a camera now.

Drawing used to be the same way. I used to just see what I wanted in my mind and then it was a simple matter of tracing that image on the page. I still want to be able to do that, but the motor skill just aren’t there anymore.

I wonder if I’m doomed. I wonder if its just my lack of drive. I used to love drawing. If I was sitting in a class, listening to a lecture, and not paying attention, I’d look down at my notebook and find out that I had absentmindedly doodled the person sitting in front of me. That doesn’t happen anymore. Now I am pushing myself. And I’m not doing it out of love, I’m doing it out of regret. Trying to recapture I once had for the simple reason that I want to draw my own comic. There’s not even a good reason for that. I’m quite happy with the job Max is doing on Hellcats. And really, I have no real desire to take his reigns and do the daily art chores. But if we’re going to do this series of solo stories, I want to draw one of them.

Mostly just so I can say I did, I guess.

*sigh* I may never get there.

365 days

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15 comments for “5-23-08

  1. avatar
    May 24, 2008 at 12:26 am

    Aren’t you at the mercy of professorial ego at art school?

    Not like riding a bike then? Not surprising. Take it slowly, in the direction your drawing wants to take you.

  2. avatar
    May 24, 2008 at 12:34 am

    @phlewght: you’re at the mercy of crazy people more like. The art movement has been plagued throughout history with critics telling the artist what does and doesn’t qualify as art and the artist rebelling against it. So you’d think that in an art department specializing in conceptual art with a think outside of the box philosophy at one of the most prestigious universities in the world would be above doing the same to its students.

    You’d be wrong.

  3. avatar
    May 24, 2008 at 1:17 am

    Well, if there’s one thing I’ve noticed from watching you do 365s it’s that you’re not a quitter when you put your mind to doing something. So I would say keep at it and give yourself the time to get back into the groove that our prestigious university stole away from you.

    I have faith you’ll get there. And I look forward to reading and seeing the comic you’ll create when you do, as well as the other art I wager you’ll discover you still have in you along the way. *hug*

  4. avatar
    May 24, 2008 at 1:20 am

    Hi, I’m an admin for a group called Priceless, and we’d love to have this added to the group!

    I know just how you feel! I’m a mediocre artist, but with photography, I already have an image on my "canvas" that I can create with. What I’m limited to by my skills, I can expand with the very depth and beauty of what the camera can capture. It will come back to you, but perhaps more easily when the time is right. Most artists cycle in and out of things. When it’s time, you’ll be pleased with it! It’s all still in there. (The photo is an excellent comp, btw! Wink….)

  5. avatar
    May 24, 2008 at 4:05 am

    Don’t give up! As you said, it just takes practice. It is a rare talent (which can be come an acquired skill, I’m hoping) to be able to see the complete composition in your mind and just draw the necessary lines to make it reality. Some days I can draw, and some days I can’t, but I still need at least two attempts and much erasing before I get it "right." You’ve already got a leg up in that regard.

    Hang in there!

  6. avatar
    May 24, 2008 at 4:29 am

    breathe in, breathe out……..you can do it. : )

  7. avatar
    May 24, 2008 at 6:01 am

    You know what though? Practice, keep at it. It will come back to you. I’ve spent years not drawing or writing and I have kind of lost touch with that talent, but it’s there, and I know all I have to do it just keep at it.

    Do it because you WANT to, not because you regret it. With regret comes that annoying unwanted feeling if swallowing a bitter pill.

    But then again, I could be really really tired right now. So take what I say at least half value. It is 3 in the morning.

  8. avatar
    May 24, 2008 at 6:25 am

    i totally understand you mav, i used to draw all the time i even got a job offer ‘cuz of that. but then i decided to finish university and drawing was like forgotten for a long time.. 😛
    now my drawing skills are like a shadow of what they once were… i guess we can never take anything for granted…just have to workout the "drawing muscles" harder now 😛

    but hey mav "where there’s a will there’s a way"!!!

  9. avatar
    May 24, 2008 at 11:02 am

    Well, I have no doubt that it will return… but then you know I think you can do most anything. Of course, I’m never wrong either! 😉

  10. avatar
    May 24, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    Don’t give up, you were born with talent. When you don’t use a skill (talent) it goes dormant and takes time to recoup.

  11. avatar
    May 24, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    I know what you mean about art school. They get you thinking so hard about what you are doing that you forget how to be natural at it. Fuckers.

    The way to be a better drawer (?) is to draw more and think less.

  12. avatar
    May 25, 2008 at 6:04 am

    "The person I used to be drew every day for 11 years or so. The person I am today misses that and has been trying to recapture it for 3 days."– Chris Maverick, 05-23-08.

    Patience and effort…. Get-Ur-Done!

  13. avatar
    May 25, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    @mickeysacks: we’ll see. I’m going to keep practicing when I can in any case. Not sure if I have the time to devote to effort to getting back to where I am comfortable or not. We’ll see.

    @celticsong22: added it. Thank you.

    @☼ Helder: I’m gonna try anyway. We’ll see. Are you still going to draw some Hellcat pinups? I think you mentioned doing that before.

    @musik48190: eh… its not a question of am I capable. it’s a question of time and motivation.

    @365bunnies: actually, they didn’t get me thinkign differently. That’s why I left.

    @DeHoll: eh… its actually not that easy. The learning curve is much different for an older person than a younger one. And as I’ve said several times above, I don’t currently have the time to devote to it like I’d want. We’ll see.

  14. avatar
    May 27, 2008 at 6:02 am

    ………………The artistic touch…………….

  15. avatar
    June 4, 2008 at 1:10 am

    @bobbycorenki: I’m trying. Thank you.

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