ChrisMaverick dotcom



Day 216 of 365 days.

The kids have been wearing these crazy shoes lately with roller skates built in. There have even been a few news stories about them (don’t let your kids wear Heelys, they’ll bust their skulls). I’ve seen 8-year-olds zipping around the mall on them from time to time in the last couple of months, but its becoming more frequent now. I mentioned to Steph the other day that it’d be cool if they had them for grownups.

So last night, Steph and I were watching a DVD in bed. The movie was Employee of The Month, one of maybe 100 DVDs I bought randomly at some point or another on the theory that Steph and I might be bored some night and want to watch something silly we’ve never seen before in bed. When Steph asked me why I would waste money on such of a ridiculous looking movie, that was only in the theaters for like two days, on DVD, the only thing I could come up with is that I am a fan of both stars, of the film. Dane Cook, and Jessica Simpson’s tits. Granted, it’s Cook’s comedy that I am a fan of, and since he didn’t write this movie, it wasn’t really going to be him. But, I figured the boobs would certainly still be there in all of their luscious glory, and hey, maybe just a little of Cook’s comedy would squeak out and make the film watchable.

However, its actually a surprising funny (if formulaic) romantic comedy. Dane Cook plays a character I can identify with, a burnt out dot.commer, down on his luck, and looking for love and his place in the world. He takes a job at a Wal-mart clone where he has as little responsibility as possible and rolls around the store on adult-sized Heelys. So apparently they do make them. The real surprise, however, was the acting ability of the handler of his co-star, Jessica Simpson’s boobs. I expected the boobs to be fantastic, but I was amazed at the highly competent and distinctly not totally sucky acting job done by the person attached to those boobs. While she won’t be getting a call come Oscar time any decade soon, she did a much better job than she did in her acting debut, the remake of Dukes of Hazzard.

Talk about sucky movies that I buy for no good reason at all. I don’t know why I picked up Dukes of Hazzard. I guess because like every American boy born in the mid-70s, Catherine Bach was the reason I was pulled through puberty at age 5. But anyway, knowing full well that I would hate the Dukes of Hazzard movie, I still felt that I had no choice but to buy it. And as expected it was awful.

But that didn’t stop me from going out today and buying the prequel when I was shopping today. For some reason I just couldn’t stop myself. It’s not just my problem with buying DVDs. It certainly isn’t a love of Jessica’s boobs, since she’s not in it (most of the cast has been replaced, the new Daisy is a model/actress/dealornodealsuitcaseholder). The thing is, I have this love of movies, I even have a love of bad movies, and I have this neurotic problem where once I have part of a series, I just have to have the whole thing. So even though the third Godfather is awful, I own it because it completes the set. The same with the Matrix movies, and Scream and apparently Dukes of Hazzard.

But I suppose I wouldn’t have bothered to buy it if I didn’t have to go to the store to buy a birthday present for my friend’s kid who turns two this weekend. Shopping for a two year old is difficult, since its really hard to know what he’d be into. But I did find a couple things after wandering around the store for a while and at the cost of picking up the Dukes movie and a couple others, and yet still no Scarface, which they didn’t have. But if I didn’t have to buy a birthday present for Ted, then I never would have gone out today and picked up these movies.

Of course I also never would have stopped by the shoe store in the same complex and bought my own pair of Heelys.

Sure, I could have just said that, but isn’t it much more amusing to have me spin a little yarn like that and give you a glimpse into my fucked up brain?

Yeah, I thought so.

365 days

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38 comments for “3-15-07

  1. avatar
    March 15, 2007 at 11:30 pm

    😀 her boobs are great 😀 i liked that movie too… and i want those shoes… when you’re not rolling are they comfortable to walk in?

  2. avatar
    March 15, 2007 at 11:31 pm

    Loved the story. AND I want some of those cool shoes, seriously, I really want some. I too, have watched little kids zooming around on them. As a child of the ’50s & ’60s, there wasn’t anything remotely cool as this… we were lucky to have SHOES! Don’t get me started. Mom is soooo jealous of you right now!

  3. avatar
    March 15, 2007 at 11:42 pm

    @jessie doncaster: Oh, you know I thought about reviewing the shoes, but I didn’t want the blog to get too long. 😉 Actually, they were amazingly comfortable. That’s what really got me to buy them. I was just going to try them on, because I thought "how silly?" but they are really comfy as just sneakers. I wouldn’t want to go running in them and messing up the wheels, but I bet I could pretty happily wear them around the office if I worked somewhere where you could wear sneakers (you know, if I like had a job or something).

    @lrayholly: Oh yeah, I knew you’d like them. They really are awesome. When you get some money, you should get some.

  4. avatar
    March 15, 2007 at 11:46 pm

    I want some too! I just saw a kid in them the other day and was wondering if they made them in adult sizes.

  5. avatar
    March 15, 2007 at 11:54 pm

    this is the best movie review i’ve read in a while

  6. avatar
    March 15, 2007 at 11:59 pm

    @Travelinjim: you totally should. They take some getting used to to skate on though.

    @mv4: Hey, this is totally a shoe review, not a movie review. 🙂 Actually, I should start writing movie reviews again. I used to really enjoy that.

  7. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 12:32 am

    Wait–where the heck did you find the adult sized Heelys? Every time we see the little kids zooming around, my boyfriend and I are all "Damn, I wish they made those for grown ups!"

  8. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 12:34 am

    Nice kicks!

  9. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 12:44 am

    @vyxle: I got mine at Journey’s shoe store.

    @Whiffleboy: thanx

  10. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 12:48 am

    There was a kid tearing up the rheumatology department in those shoes. I was no help at all "How fast can you go in those things? Show me!" I had him doing wind sprints up and down the hall. I tried to explain the klunky metal ones that you’d strap aroud your tennies that I had when I was growing up. Kids don’t know how cool their toys are. I want some!

  11. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 12:53 am

    @Kungfukitten: yeah, I certainly can’t go fast yet. It’s a lot harder to skate than I thought. Not really like roller skates. And I remember the strap on ones… I always thought the idea of those were kinda cool.

  12. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 9:54 am

    Wanna write my movie reviews?

    I get the money and the glory, but you get something to do all day instead of writing novels to attach to your 365s. 😛

  13. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 12:13 pm

    Heelys are a major craze in the UK – it seems there isn’t an eight year-old in the country without wheels attached to their feet!

  14. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 12:15 pm

    Lovely angle!

    (365 days)

  15. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 1:55 pm

    @jessi.: nah, I’m all about getting the fame and stuff for myself. Of course, since the canadian dollar is only worth about like 12 cents, you can probably keep the money. 😛

    @gimmie_shoes: yeah, i think its sweeping the world.

    @dillydallying: thank you

  16. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 4:19 pm

    hey now, i think we’re at about $0.85… speaking of piss poor canadians… do you mind if i ask, were the heeleys expensive?

  17. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 4:27 pm

    @jessie doncaster: I just like teasing Jessi. They were about $80

  18. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 4:48 pm

    🙂 yah i was pretty sure you knew we were up from that… although it wasn’t too long ago when we were under 50 cents… Ouch.
    $80 eh… might have to look into getting a pair for my next new kicks!

  19. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 5:50 pm

    @jessie doncaster: yeah, they’re awesoem, except they aren’t all purpose. Like I don’t want to wear them anywhere I’d get them muddy or snowy because I don’t want to screw up the axels.

  20. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    the famous chrismaverick..
    thank you for inspiring me with this fantastic idea.

  21. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 7:53 pm

    @clande: wow. Famous? Really? Well, thank you. And I am glad you are enjoying the project.

  22. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 10:26 pm

    They make those for adults? Crazy!

  23. avatar
    March 16, 2007 at 10:46 pm

    @MegaBee: yep… want to stop by the store and buy some tomorrow after the movie?

  24. avatar
    March 17, 2007 at 11:38 am

    There’s no way they make those big enough for me.

  25. avatar
    March 17, 2007 at 5:08 pm

    @MegaBee: you didn’t need those toes anyway.

  26. avatar
    March 18, 2007 at 9:32 am

    ooh, my chris is jealous! he really wants a pair…but since he never really even learned to roller skate (when we grew up in the era of roller skating and skateboarding–which he was also never good at)…i’m not sure at 37 that it’s such a good idea…he really may "crack his skull" !!

    glad you got yourself a pair though…can’t wait to see them in action for a selfie!!

  27. avatar
    March 18, 2007 at 10:42 am

    @pi c’s: he might as well get some. I do know how to skate, and it weirdly doesn’t really feel like that at all. That’s why I’m having so much trouble with them.

    As for taking a picture with them in action, that’ll have to wait til I’m better at using them, which will be once it’s nicer outside.

  28. avatar
    May 3, 2007 at 10:47 pm

    I have really been enjoying looking through your photo stream. Your self-portraits are well-conceived and well-executed. Impressive.

  29. avatar
    May 4, 2007 at 12:01 am

    @Cognitive Ambition: thank you. Someimes they work out better than others, but I do put a lot of work into it. The 365 Days project has really made me examine myself as an artist.

  30. avatar
    May 20, 2007 at 8:12 pm

    You should join

  31. avatar
    May 20, 2007 at 8:27 pm

    @sebastiam_30: I really don’t wear them often enough to have much of anything to say. Do they tell you how to learn to skate on them as a grownup?

  32. avatar
    June 22, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    woah i should have checked up on flickr a while back, yeah theres about 6-8 adult heelers on there and most even heel with their kids. Alot of people also have how to heel videos.

  33. avatar
    June 22, 2007 at 12:54 pm

    @sebastiam_30: I still haven’t found a good place to practice, so I’m not very good.

  34. avatar
    April 3, 2008 at 10:23 am

    Hi, I’m an admin for a group called Heelys, and we’d love to have your photo added to the group.

  35. avatar
    April 4, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    @broox: done

  36. avatar
    May 7, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    (forgot to say the sites been changed to heelychat if you did tried joining, and it’d be cool to find out if you ever learned to use em or not)

  37. avatar
    May 9, 2008 at 10:07 am

    @sebastiam_30: nah, I never got used to them. I just don’t try often enough.

  38. avatar
    May 9, 2011 at 5:48 am

    when ur done with them ca i ave them

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